How Khmer diaspora’s Children are raised in America

Alina in Khmer Buddhist temple in Chicago

The dark and destructive period in Cambodia from 1975 to 1979 has resulted millions of death which has stuck  survivors with bitter memories, sorrow of being separated, and new lives in despair.  To avoid the war and seek for safety, many innocent Cambodians cried for humanitarian help and fled for resettlement in other countries, mostly to many different states of the United States. Chicago which is the third largest city of America is also the place where many Cambodian refugees first settled down, initially in Uptown neighborhood on the city’s North Side. As years pass on, Khmer diaspora and their children are consequently living and sharing their belonging as both Khmer and American. In a modern society, the way Khmer-American children are raised is fascinating.

Remarkably, children who are raised in Cambodia are different from those raised in America in terms of education, thought, belief, and level of social involvement due to outside influence or society that surrounds the children although most families in America try to keep their cultural practices and Khmer tradition. It is the fact that in Cambodia, Khmer children are raised with high expectation that they have the responsibility to financially and emotionally care for the family, whereas, in the United States, the children are more individualistic, independent and self-sufficient.

Living in Skokie, a suburb north of Chicago, with a mother from Battambang and a father from Siem Reap, Cambodia, a simple beautiful woman with nobly soft manner who can speak Khmer a little bit, Alina, has provided with a good care and support from her parents. She said, “My parents were very nurturing and helpful. And I was thankful that most of the pressure was not from them but actually from myself to continue to do better and grow as a human.”

While in Cambodian society, females are expected to conform to traditions, fulfill family’s demands, follow their parents’ dream, and are usually discouraged to get higher education and instead are supposed to stay at home to help their parents for household works, such as looking after younger brothers or sisters,  more Khmer-American women have freedom and can access to higher education. 

Alina who is studying Human Medicine at Michigan State University said, “I was supported financially by my parents in regards to schooling. I am very thankful for that and would not be where I am without that financial support… their main goal as parents is for me to be respectful and get a good education… as far as marriage and career, these things have been much to my freedom to choose as well.” 

Alina and other youth during Pchum Ben in Chicago

By originating with stricter rules in Cambodia, parents in the United States do not want their children to be completely Americanized; therefore, they raise their children with traditional rules and beliefs. While many youth are still raised with traditional cultural values and restrictions, Khmer-American children are losing a little of their cultural values as well as their language being in the United States. These youth simultaneously face pressures of accelerated acculturation, pressures to maintain their cultural identity and traditions at home, and pressures associated with identity and individuality.

Alina said, “My parents are very religious but I'm not yet I still have basically the same values they do.” “I grew up in what I like to call a culturally Khmer home while my interactions in school have been largely American. This does create some difficulties at times but I have learned that it has made me a much more open, flexible, and versatile person. Understanding both cultures is important as well as navigating between them. Thus, it makes me more interested in exploring and reclaiming my Khmer side of my identity after college when I realized how valuable some of the customs, cultural values, religious values, such as meditation and mindfulness can be to an individual.” she added.

Based on her experiences living among other American and British students, Alina explained, “The experience was quite confusing and difficult; however, I was grateful for it because it allowed me to identify positive aspects of Khmer culture that has been ingrained in me due to my upbringing and being in the community. Understanding of Khmer language is difficult, but I am confident in my ability to continue strengthening it. Also, knitting was something my mother taught me when I was 12. It represents the transmission of culture that I have largely received by my mother and the other women in my family. Simply put, older generation, especially women are so important in the preservation, transmission, and evolution of culture.” 

Different from Cambodia, children in the United States have active involvement in social movement towards positive change. Children are encouraged to help their community by doing social activities.

“I am deeply involved in a process toward social change and positive healing. We are all definitely capable of it! It does require a deep investigation of the self in relation to family, community, and society however.” Alina claimed.

Notably, Alina spends her free time in Asian Americans Advancing Justice which works to help Asian Americans community overcome their social obstacles. Additionally, she engages more in National Cambodian Heritage Museum and Killing Fields. She is also an American peace fellow who came to Cambodia with the Cities of Peace program to learn about Cambodia in April 2015.

Alina and other Khmer people in National Cambodian Heritage Museum and Killing Fields in Chicago